sexting

this post is not about sexting. it’s just something that fascinates me. i’m old enough to have only had access to a smartphone – the first iPhone – as an adult. i was intrigued with communication technology in high school though, where a majority of students had pagers. including myself. they were cheap, plans were probably something like $5 a month, and you had the joy of going to a payphone – or using your friend’s house phone while you were at their house – and punching in your number to send to a friend to call you back.

they didn’t know how long you’d be at that number. also, it may be a bit until they were able to return the page. they, too, had to find a payphone or, if they were at home, they could use that. or they could also use their friend’s phone while they were over there.

next level: pager code. basically texting. not T9. actual pager code. like short-form number series for longer phrases. or actually pressing numbers that represented letters on the telephone keypad to spell out messages. the number-letter relationship was visual. “8” was “A” as well as “B”. “12” was “R”. “143” was “I love you”. And then you had your “signature”, your tag, your handle. Mine was “41” which is also “hi”.

I did manage to get a coworker who was over 18 at my high school retail job to help me get a cell phone. it was some kind of rose gold, dull tan thing with a plastic flip to cover the keypad. it did not have texting. it did not have a camera. it made and received calls. it was purely functional but did a 17 year old really need that level of functionality – especially when hardly any of his friends had one, too? i hid this phone from my parents for at least a year.

when i moved away after high school i could get my own phone plan. i wanted a Siemens or Ericsson. They were very European and I felt particularly such at that time. Nokias seemed pedestrian as the US models were a bit lackluster and I wanted something more complicated, high maintenance, and not as reliable. my propensity for over-complication started young. so i had a crazy looking siemens phone that was still probably to this day one of my favorite phones. it was slim and silver with a blue pixelated screen – no graphics – and blue buttons.

this is a pretty boring post. i’m just waxing poetic about dead tech. but i think it’s so interesting. anyway, more siemens, then to ericssons/sony ericsson. now that was a kick-ass phone. you thought flip phones were satisfying to close. wait until you flicked your wrist and half your phone swung about and shut.

ok enough about phones. i lost pretty much everyone probably a paragraph or two back. communication technology. now no one really talks on the phone. i do. i sometimes prefer it to texting. i struggle with the screen typing, the autocorrect, the inpatience and anxiety of waiting for a reply the lack of context or emotion. texting can be rough. phone calls are easier. they can be fast – often faster than texting. that said, i wonder if apple has it right when they turned the iPod into a neutered iPhone. can (do?) people buy iPods instead of an iPhone and just text when there’s wifi. iPads have cell service. same question.

enquiring minds want to know.

just passing through

the magic doesn’t come from within, it passes through us. through luck, education, insight, grace, one perhaps has the power – too strong a word. occasionally one has the insight & awareness to observe and learn from it, and use that as a form of empathy. or perhaps even manipulate it gently, with great respect and discipline.

to the sky

i have a headache. it’s been with me all day. off and on.

i was on a journey home after being away for a few days, in the mountains. (these mountains were unfamiliar to me though) the journey there was longer than the return, so when i arrived i was slightly frazzled. this feeling didn’t shake off until the second day. we went off-roading, up high towards the sky, through pine forest, semi-arid desert, mountain scrub. to the top: a rock, by way of snaking dirt roads of varying complexities. we’d stop occasionally to get out of the SUV to inspect the road ahead: could we make it? what’s the best angle? remember to not stop!

when off-roading, it’s easy for me to focus more on the task at hand – not crashing, rolling over, breaking the car, etc. – than what is around me. thankfully, the mountains knew i was there. the high winds flew over, around, and through me. the plants shared their serenity, their optimistic outlook. the rocks, their histories, pragmatism, grounding. the uninterrupted sun: disinfecting. while it would perhaps have been more meaningful or special, i did not need to know that the mountain was cleansing and nourishing me so. it gives so much: a playground for us to go vroom-vroom1, and spiritual development. to me, these two go hand in hand.

when i returned home i felt high. this is a loaded word for me nowadays. i’m not supposed to feel that way. but i did. it took me the better part of the evening to realize why. why i felt so calm, free, light.

when i was first taught about forest bathing i liked the simplicity of it, how passive it was (while recognizing the power of the place one finds themselves). i appreciate that the intention is to have no intention. to just listen, receive, share, acknowledge, appreciate, feel. the effortless nature of it is liberating.

that evening, the fog rolled in. the sunny day moved on to the next part of the world to share its love, opportunity, challenges, victories (or failed attempts). the cool water vapor coating everything on the mountain: “it’s alright. i’m here.”

my body was vibrating, i didn’t realize how apart from nature i have been. this reminder was necessary. i could feel the woods, the lake, the trees calling to me. a bit like a horror movie, but for me it brought comfort.

it’s alright. i’m here.

1 i thought it best to include this bit: we were off-roading on designated OHV trails, respecting the land, picking up moop